Okay so today's blog is brought to you by guest writer Ben Howarth. Liverpool Player Ratings for the 2016/17 season will be coming tomorrow, so for now, enjoy Ben's take on the season of his beloved club, Wolverhampton Wanderers. I'm going to do more of these if I can over the next week or so.
Wolves Season Review
Out of Darkness
Cometh Light
Wolves have been using this trite phrase on marketing and
season tickets for years now. But this season, after the exercise in
existential tedium the prior campaign turned into, had so much potential to
deliver on the promise.
After a Summer of rumours and speculation FOSUN, a Chinese conglomerate represented at the club by Jeff Shi, bought out Liverpudlian businessman Steve Morgan on the 21st July and promised slightly surreal levels of investment. The gossip columns had a field day. The headline linking Mario Balotelli to Molineux will forever remain a personal favourite – a sign that sports journalism is indeed dead and now all we witness are the spasms of its decaying corpse.
After a Summer of rumours and speculation FOSUN, a Chinese conglomerate represented at the club by Jeff Shi, bought out Liverpudlian businessman Steve Morgan on the 21st July and promised slightly surreal levels of investment. The gossip columns had a field day. The headline linking Mario Balotelli to Molineux will forever remain a personal favourite – a sign that sports journalism is indeed dead and now all we witness are the spasms of its decaying corpse.
Kenny Jackett’s days were numbered. Our Chinese owners got
into the traditional British football spirit of things by offering him their
full support before kicking him out unceremoniously less than a week later. Despite
being a club with half a squad and no manager optimism remained high. First we
were linked with Marco Silva. The fans scoffed. A foreign manager who
apparently can’t speak English? No chance of thriving over here. He duly
disappeared from the running and hasn’t amounted to much anywhere else.
Next we apparently had a Spanish chap called Julen Lopetegui all lined up. Again, scepticism was high. Again, he dropped out the running. Some tinpot minor football power wanted him to run their national team. Fans sighed a sigh of relief, another pretender defeated. Lopetegui moved quietly into retirement and anonymity.
Then we signed Walter Zenga as head coach.
Next we apparently had a Spanish chap called Julen Lopetegui all lined up. Again, scepticism was high. Again, he dropped out the running. Some tinpot minor football power wanted him to run their national team. Fans sighed a sigh of relief, another pretender defeated. Lopetegui moved quietly into retirement and anonymity.
Then we signed Walter Zenga as head coach.
The Zenga BusThe 87 days that followed were occasionally entertaining, but sadly predictable. Zenga brought great passion, promises that Wolves had a massive Italian following (yes, really) and some truly great chants. He also delivered, at St James’ Park, one of the best Wolves performances in the Championship within recent memory. On that balmy afternoon one of our many new Portuguese wingers, Helder ‘the best thing to come out of Portugal since Peri-Peri Sauce’ Costa came of age and ran a beleaguered Magpie’s backline ragged. The centre of the park was dominated by Romain Saiss, our highly rated new Moroccan hard man, who had Jonjo Shelvey so sewn up that the Voldemort enthusiast resorted to some traditional British racism. Optimism reigned. At least the play-offs called. The Zenga bus was rolling in the right direction.
Then all the wheels fell off. Our only fully fit and scoring striker from the start of the season, Jón Daði Böðvarsson, stopped doing so. Nouha Dicko came back promising many goals, between them they provided 6. Our defence, never the most resolute aspect of the club, began to resemble a sieve that had been shot multiple times by a tank. We went from upper mid table, to below even Aston Villa in 18th and, having won a mere 4 of his 14 games in charge, Zenga was given the boot. The man had admirable passion and formed a deep connection with our hardcore fan base. Unfortunately, he was also about as tactically astute as Harry Rednapp’s Mum. Shine on Walter you crazy diamond, but please do it away from Wolverhampton.
Mitigating
circumstances
Much as it might pain me to admit it, perhaps not all of
Walter’s failures were brought about by his many obvious weaknesses. FOSUN’s
acquisition of Wolves came about a mere fortnight before the season began and
the squad they inherited was, with the best will in the world, crap. The
trolley rush that followed was not dissimilar to Arsenal’s entertaining 2011
deadline day rush. 13 players were brought in, either on loan or permanently.
Most were linked in one way or another to the ‘super agent’ Jorge Mendes. Of
these 5 were Portuguese – every one of whom spent at least some time playing on
the wing. At one point Wolves managed the seemingly impossible and played 3 of
them (Costa, Caveilero and Teixera) on the wing in a 442. Yes, it was one of those seasons.
Some of the other signings made more sense. The highly rated
Borthwick-Jackson came in on loan from The Special One at Old Trafford (Agent:
Jorge Mendes. Me, implying anything? Surely not). Unfortunately, Cameron
appeared more fussed about his hair and keeping his boots clean than playing
football. He returned to the Manchester United youth side mid-season. Jón Daði
Böðvarsson also seemed a good buy. Fresh from dumping Woy, Wazza and the lads
out of Euro 2016 he started like an Icelandic freight train, and continued to
show enough later in the season to believe he could be a club stalwart for
years to come. Also, he allows us to legitimately do that thunder clap thing.
Money well spent. Richard Stearman returned on a year loan, after we’d sold him
to Fulham 12 months previously for ‘football reasons’. Eyebrows were raised,
but dear Richard is an experienced centre back and we have a young defence. It
made at least some sense.
The less said about Prince ‘formerly known as a footballer’ Oniangue, Paul ‘even I don’t know who I am or why I’m offside 37 times a game’ Gladon, Ola ‘so nondescript the writer can’t think of a nickname’ John the better. The loan signing of Joao Teixera is worth an honourable mention. He looked good for at least a fortnight. then he was so bad we somehow managed to sub-loan him to Forest, who literally never played him. Likely to be an answer on Pointless sooner or later.
The less said about Prince ‘formerly known as a footballer’ Oniangue, Paul ‘even I don’t know who I am or why I’m offside 37 times a game’ Gladon, Ola ‘so nondescript the writer can’t think of a nickname’ John the better. The loan signing of Joao Teixera is worth an honourable mention. He looked good for at least a fortnight. then he was so bad we somehow managed to sub-loan him to Forest, who literally never played him. Likely to be an answer on Pointless sooner or later.
The squad didn’t even begin to look balanced before the
excellent January additions of Andreas Weimann and Ben Marshall brought about
by Zenga’s able successor – Paul Lambert. Would Zenga have been able to settle
the ship with a transfer window? Maybe. Was it worth risking given trajectory?
Absolutely not.
Enter Lambert – Let’s
go to Liverpool
As the astute reader will no doubt have noticed, Paul
Lambert was FOSUN’s next choice as head coach. He solidified our defence
admirably and noticeably improved the style of our play. Under Zenga there was
no continuity in tactics. Lambert utilised our pace out wide to turn us into an
excellent counter attacking side. Unsurprisingly, this meant that we were a lot
better away from home than at Molineux. A table made up purely of our home
results would have seen Wolves playing in League One next season, and
deservedly so. He also had the worst ‘blip’ in results I’ve ever seen a manager
survive; losing 5 games back to back in February – making it the worst February
in our recorded history. And let me tell you, we’ve had some proper stinkers.
Safety was secured with 4 games to spare. Everyone was embarrassed that it was
even a possibility. But, aside from a few deluded denizens of the internet,
most credited Lambert with stabilizing the club and felt that he could kick on
next season. There was also the small matter of the FA Cup.
This season saw the best FA cup run for the Old Gold in
nearly 15 years. A third round draw away at Stoke was viewed by most, including
your humble guest blogger, to be a solid way of exiting the competition
respectfully and concentrating on the league. Instead, an understrength Wolves
side deservedly beat a full strength Stoke team. To say that this provoked
bemusement would be an understatement – who the hell were these players and
where were they most Saturdays?
More surprise was to come in the next round – away at Liverpool. Richard
Stearman justified his entire season’s wages with a beautiful headed goal in
front of the Kop inside 2 minutes. Andreas Weimann, brought in on loan a mere
week earlier, won himself an immunity from any and all criticism, by leaving
Karius prostrate and rolling home a second shortly before half time. In truth,
it could have been more. Helder Costa added a good £5m onto his price tag when
he is inevitably snapped up by a bigger club this summer by running the length
of the pitch, leaving a succession of pampered Anfield starlets in his wake.
Origi clawed one back in a scramble with 5 minutes to go but the Reds never
seriously threatened to steal the Mighty Wanderer’s thunder and had to slink
back to their changing room shortly after with their pride in tatters. The like
hadn’t been seen at Anfield since 2010 and Stephen Wards apotheosis, but those
are memories of a happier time. Can we play them every week? To add insult to injury, the Liverpool-Wolves tie was televised. Similarly, the cameras came to Molineux for their showdown with Chelsea in the next round. Antonio Conte didn’t make the same mistake as Klopp and named a strong team, showing a great deal of respect. Yet when the unlikeliest of potential heroes George ‘occasionally a footballer’ Saville rattled the woodwork of Begovic’s goal in the first ten minutes, Chelsea were visibly rattled. Unfortunately, that was the closest the boys in gold got and Chelsea eventually ground them down, with Pedro scoring an excellent goal in the 65th minute and the other, less impressive, Costa adding a second at the death. Conte introduced the best player in the Premier League, Kante, to shore up Chelsea’s defence for the last twenty minutes, in perhaps the most effective tribute to Wolves’ efforts. The players were rightly applauded off the pitch by the largest crowd at Molineux since it became an all seater stadium.
Where next?
So in summary, calamitous start to the season, Lambert in,
stability, excellent cup run. What’s more, there was enough shown at the end of
the season to hope that perhaps next season light could really ‘cometh out of
darkness’. The horrifically injured Jordan Graham re-emerged for the final few
matches and, at home to Preston on the final day, looked to almost immediately
be back to his best. With the potential return of Ebanks-Landell from his
triumphant season at Sheffield United (who have subsequently become the least
moral club in the country) and a full preseason with our many signings, Wolves
fans were cautiously optimistic.
And yet.
News has recently emerged than Paul Lambert’s position has become untenable. Apparently, he wanted the final say on transfers. FOSUN, in bed with Mendes, felt that this was unreasonable. The issue has now rumbled on for a fortnight with multiple managers, each as uninspiring as the last, touted for the job whilst Lambert clings on, a dead man walking. Transfers are on hold. A deal to bring in Weimann permanently, which looked a shoe in, is now up in the air. A decision on the excellent, but perpetually crocked, Silvio likewise has been left in limbo. The air of optimism which saw an immense number of season tickets bought, especially for a club who have had two utterly uninspiring seasons back to back, has swiftly been dispelled.
Out of Darkness Cometh Light? I’ll believe it when I see it.
Player of the Season: Helder Costa for his immense ability comes in second, but is just edged out by Dangerous Dave Edwards. The two are tied for league top scorer (10 goals) but only one of them has been a servant for 10 years and literally never stops running. Seriously, the Duracell Bunny needs to watch his back.
And yet.
News has recently emerged than Paul Lambert’s position has become untenable. Apparently, he wanted the final say on transfers. FOSUN, in bed with Mendes, felt that this was unreasonable. The issue has now rumbled on for a fortnight with multiple managers, each as uninspiring as the last, touted for the job whilst Lambert clings on, a dead man walking. Transfers are on hold. A deal to bring in Weimann permanently, which looked a shoe in, is now up in the air. A decision on the excellent, but perpetually crocked, Silvio likewise has been left in limbo. The air of optimism which saw an immense number of season tickets bought, especially for a club who have had two utterly uninspiring seasons back to back, has swiftly been dispelled.
Out of Darkness Cometh Light? I’ll believe it when I see it.
Player of the Season: Helder Costa for his immense ability comes in second, but is just edged out by Dangerous Dave Edwards. The two are tied for league top scorer (10 goals) but only one of them has been a servant for 10 years and literally never stops running. Seriously, the Duracell Bunny needs to watch his back.
Highlight of the season: ‘Costa with the free-kick…and
arriving is STEEEEEEEEEARMAAAAAN…THE OLD GOLD IS GLEAMING AT ANFIELD’
Lowlight of the season: Wolves 0-4 Barnsley. Specifically, the 73rd minute onwards. It was 0-0 before then. In the words of Walter, “It is a shame not only for me but for the fans as well, the club and everybody.”
Lowlight of the season: Wolves 0-4 Barnsley. Specifically, the 73rd minute onwards. It was 0-0 before then. In the words of Walter, “It is a shame not only for me but for the fans as well, the club and everybody.”
Overall score(s) – The Zenga Bus 2/10. The Lambert Cup
Revolution 9/10. The Lambert League stabilisation 6/10. Overall C- (Could do
better, please see me)
The Hard and Fast Section
- Morgan and Woakes KO'd South Africa. Very promising.
- Man United saw off Ajax to win the Europa League.
- Gary Monk and Big Sam are gone. Madness.
- Vettel flying in Monaco practice.
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