Thursday, 21 April 2016

21st April

And so, after an essay enforced hiatus - I return!

Merseyside Carnage

And last night saw not just one of the most one-sided Merseyside derbies in the history of the fixture, but one of the most one-sided matches of football I've seen all season. The only game that is comparable to me from a Liverpool perspective is the 6-0 against Villa early on in the season, that's how bad Everton were, and how utterly dominant Liverpool were. The final half hour was akin to a training session, as Liverpool knocked the ball about for fun, dictating the pace, the game, even when they scored. Everton didn't stop them putting the ball into the box, they just defended their area and I can't think of a time when an Everton player, or Simon Mignolet for that matter, touched the ball in Liverpool's half after Funes Mori's red card shortly after half time. 

At the time I thought Funes Mori was unlucky, and tackles that do serious damage to players always look worse than they are. But on the other hand, it's difficult to argue that the tackle wasn't dangerous when it literally did endanger another player and even if I would have given a yellow on first viewing, Funes Mori can't really have any complaints. But in truth, his red didn't change the flow of the match, it just exaggerated it. Liverpool were already 2-0 up and cruising, after two pieces of truly awful defending from Everton towards the end of the first half allowed Divock Origi and Mamadou Sakho to power home headers, and Everton had offered very little to the match up until that point. Liverpool had over 60% of the possession in the first half, which increased in the second, they had had all of the shots and chances in the first half, and they'd played pretty well, without ever finding their top gear. Nevertheless, Everton could have no complaints with being 2-0 down at the break, as Adam Lallana and Roberto Firmino should both have definitely scored in the first half, missing gilt-edged chances. As for Everton, they had one run from Lukaku, shut down by a phenomenal tackle in the box from the increasingly imperious Sakho, and that was it for the 90 minutes. 

In the second half, it became truly humiliating. Not just on the scoreline, as Sturridge and Coutinho scored goals that were both easy and classy, but as Liverpool racked up over 40 shots, Everton barely touched the ball. Coutinho had more passes in the final third in the final 45 minutes than the entire Everton team did over 90 minutes. James Milner picked up his 13th and 14th assists of an increasingly impressive campaign for the England midfielder, who looks increasingly like starting at the Euros if he keeps playing like this, with nobody in the Premier League close to his assist tally in 2016. 

But as good as Liverpool were, Everton were an absolute disgrace. In the second half they offered nothing. Literally nothing to the game. If they were poor in the first half, then they took it to new levels in the second. With one center back throwing in the towel straight after the half-time break, and the other putting in a performance so dreadful that he cost Everton two goals before meekly retreating with a stomach ache similar to that of any Everton fan forced to watch his car crash performance, you could forgive Roberto Martinez for tearing out what little remains of his hair. 

But in truth, Everton never got close to Liverpool. The moment that sums up this game is when Moreno and Coutinho mockingly chipped the ball repeatedly on the volley over the head of a hapless Everton defender, before Moreno volleyed into the feet of Lucas, who had a pop from 20 yards. Even Klopp, who's only been at the club six months knew how ludicrous the notion of Lucas scoring was, and he howled with laughter as the crowd jeered and ole'd every successful pass. At one point Liverpool played nigh on 50 passes in the Everton half for fun, just because they could. My mate at one point messaged me going: "They are dicking about" to which I replied: "Have been for about half an hour". This was genuinely laughable. And the joke was on Everton and Roberto Martinez, who surely now has sealed his fate. To lose 4-0 to your biggest rivals and not even put up a fight is criminal enough, either the result or the performance alone in a derby game should be enough to get him sacked, let alone both. If he doesn't beat an in-form Manchester United on Saturday in Everton's season-defining FA Cup semi-final, he's gone. 

But frankly, Everton are going to need a miracle. They are a club in total disarray, massively underperforming with two or three genuinely top class players, surrounded by a lot of bang average players, being managed in a shambolic way by a man who is completely out of his depth. There's a reason he couldn't keep Wigan in the Premier League. He cannot organise a defence and on this display, it's completely fair to say that he has lost the dressing room. Two bad seasons in a row for Everton and if it wasn't for Lukaku, they'd be much worse off than they are. They've gone backwards since Moyes left, and they cannot afford to go backwards any longer. 

Moving away from the utter shambles that is Everton's season, with three points picked up from their last 7 games and their only win in the last two months coming against Aston Villa, to how impressive once again Liverpool were. We've now won six of our last eight in the league, since that turning point I mentioned, the 2-2 collapse against Sunderland, followed by the first of those six wins, the 6-0 thumping of Villa. And in that time we've knocked Manchester United and Borussia Dortmund out of the Europa League, crushed Manchester City, Stoke and Everton at Anfield, and picked up a thoroughly deserved draw against arguably the best team in the country (sorry Leicester). We are well and truly in a hot streak and the players really look they're coming together under Klopp.

The only problem is injuries, with Henderson, Can and Origi, three vital players, all looking set to miss the remainder of the season or somewhere close to it, depending on how bad Origi's ankle is. But last night, that didn't seem to matter. Daniel Sturridge is in the top two strikers in the country when fit and firing, as he is now, Coutinho, Milner and Lallana are finding hot form, Allen and Lucas have filled in impeccably and our central defenders are turning into an outstanding partnership.

Right now, Liverpool are on a high. Twelve goals in three games at Anfield, the same amount in our last four in the league, We've now scored as many goals this season as Arsenal, and are closing in on Leicester and West Ham as well, a whole 14 more than Man United, who I now am convinced we will finish ahead of. If United drop points to Leicester then we should move ahead of them in the table on the 1st of May, assuming we turn over Newcastle and Swansea. After that, both teams face one more potentially tough league fixtures, United have to go to West Ham and we invite Chelsea to Anfield. I know which fixture of those I'd rather have. The average league position of our opponents between now and the end of the season is 14th and none of them except Newcastle have anything to play for.

We probably won't win all of our last five, because simply put we're not really playing for much. Klopp will send out a young reserve team for games before and after our huge Europa League ties, as we've just left ourselves too much to do in terms of reaching top four. But if we can win the EL, and finish 5th, within three or four points of Arsenal and/or City, then considering the topsy-turvy sesaon we've had, I'd be very happy with that, and it would give us a magnificent springboard into next season. And show that the so-called top teams in the country are not even close to a million miles ahead of us right now. 


The Hard and Fast Section

  • Barcelona won 8-0 last night. Suarez scored four. Slump over.
  • West Ham are having a cracking season. Top six?
  • Less than a month until test cricket returns. 
  • Did we all enjoy Spieth's collapse? I know I did. 
  • Jamie's Vardy's having a suspension. Chat sh*t, get banned. 

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